Going to try and be clear in this as much as possible. But also don’t want to waste peoples time.
My career has been up and down quite a bit. I’ve had some really bad experiences, which has shaped my current belief set. This has also caused some bad anxiety and paranoia, which I have been able to manage as of late but recently I’m feeling really overwhelmed by it all.
My current role is very high pressure. There’s been a lot of changes. I had three manager changes within the first month of being at my company – which is okay, but a lot to say the least. I have been at my company for roughly a year and a half which is one of my longer stays (on average I have stayed at companies a year – the longest job I was at was 2 years and I would have stayed their except my position was eliminated).
Recently, I’ve had a few people leave in my department. This is causing increased workload. My manager, while very helpful, tends to be a bit of a micromanager. I had a few things I need to work on, but nothing that made me horrible – this was a “coaching” plan, if you will.
I immediately panicked thinking this was a performance improvement plan. That is basically a death sentence and you need to start looking. She showed me it wasn’t, I didn’t have to sign anything, and human resources knew nothing of it. Which relieved me a bit.
A couple weeks ago we had chatted and she told me that she had nothing but good feedback and to keep doing what I’m doing. I don’t know why but I didn’t believe her.
Since then, four people have left our department causing me to take over a few projects. It’s fine, and I’m doing the best that I can but I feel like I’m being put in a really bad situation.
On top of this, our company recently got purchased by another company and they’re gonna look to eliminate waste.
So yeah, this is a giant party.
I’m not sleeping as well as I should. I can feel fluttering in my chest, and maybe I’m just overthinking it but I just feel like I’m on the way out. I spoke to another one of my coworkers and she said she’s been recently feeling the same way like she’s constantly looking over her shoulder.
Am I allowing my anxiety to get the best of me?