22 year old male uni student here, and I’ve matured. A lot. It hit me last night that i can’t show my true face at home anymore because of constant judgement. I feel like they are dictating every one of my moves. Any decisions they disagree with is QUESTIONED. HEAVILY.
But my dad (for sake of better argument), is a brute. he doesn’t believe that happiness is needed at university, and doesn’t see its necessity, only thing that matters is results.
I’m not the young boy i was, and now my parents (no matter how loving they say they are, because they REALLY do love me), question a lot of life choices i make. I can’t be myself around them, that in turns makes me feel like i don’t feel the comfort of home anymore, anywhere.
This is kind of killing me because i notice a pattern of toxic relationships (both friendly and romantically) because all i want, is too feel at home somewhere. its like the ONLY thing i want anymore. I don’t actually care about my degree anymore. How do i fix… (myself..???) because this is clearly an unbelievably destructive thought pattern.