I’m a nineteen year old guy and for a year now I can’t find motivation to do anything. I can’t get myself to study, draw or even play computer games. the only thing that i can do is just sit and listen/watch other people doing stuff through YouTube videos (and that starts to fade away as well). Things that I used to love just seem pointless now. I’m just a year away from getting my music diploma in percussion and i can rarely get myself to study. On top of that I want to do well at college too but still I can’t really motivate myself. Everything seems pointless and I feel like a huge failure. Whenever i try to do anything it usually doesn’t last long and then I get mad at myself because i can’t do shit.
I have developed an eating disorder throughout the years and relate alot with symptoms of depression, anxiety and derealization. I haven’t seeked professional help because it’s really expensive here in Greece and I don’t want to tell anything to my parents about me.
Is there any hope of me getting better or is it always gonna keep getting worse?