I really want to kill myself. I’ve hated the way I’ve looked since the 4th grade, and it’s ruined my life. But lately it’s been really bad, looking at myself, seeing myself in the mirror, I just start crying and I can’t stop. Even writing or thinking about it is enough to make my eyes water. Yet I’m so obsessed with it that it’s all I’m ever thinking about, I spend hours checking my appearance, getting ready, and every second of it makes me hate myself more. Recently it’s gotten bad enough to where I’ve started self-harming again. And now, it’s making me want to end my life all together. It’s been like this before, about a two to three years ago, but it hasn’t been the main source of my self harm and suicidal tendencies for a while since other things have been happening. It doesn’t matter what anyone says to me, I just can’t help but see every terrible feature of my face that makes me lesser than those around me. My self hatred of my appearance is even beginning to strain both familiar and romantic relationships. It feels like There’s not even a reason to live, and I can’t talk to anyone about it. They either get mad at me or argue with me without even trying to understand. I really don’t know what to do anymore, I just want to stop feeling this way.