In early 2019 my mental health was at its worst. I have experienced disorders such as anxiety and depression, but never in my life had an identity crisis and a mental breakdown up until that point. The worst part about it is that it came rather unexpectedly, it was a series of events (Rather not explain them) that occurred at various times that caused this. Not knowing who I was and questioning everything about me and everything was mentally draining to add to it all. At one point the pressure of constant thoughts and questions caused me to have a mental breakdown.
During my mental breakdown and identity crisis I had no motivation at all. Daily chores and responsibilities soon began to fade as I was too caught up in my head. Unfortunately at the time I still had to attend school which added to the already overwhelming mental chaos. I remember arriving at school and not saying a word to my friends, and not showing any expression at all. Beyond my private life at home, it severely damaged all relationships at the time, even my own family.
The depression definitely added on to my lack of motivation and interest in daily things. Usually I spend my free time alone but occupying myself with the things I enjoy such as watching football for example. When I had all of these conditions, I literally did nothing. Once I arrived home from school I would just lay in my bed and stare at the ceiling. The only thing I got up to do was eat only a little bit and use the restroom. I was sleep deprived, anxious, depressed, and had no identity. I would stay up countless hours questioning everything about who I thought was me and even reality itself. Eventually those questions led me into delusional thoughts about reality, life, and people.
In conclusion this was the time of absolute mental deterioration for me. Eventually after at least a month or more I finally came back to myself. It was a long and terrible process of recovery, and I honestly wouldn’t wish this on anyone else. Please, if you suspect that you are in or about to go through a identity crisis, then please reach out to someone. I can’t stress how important this is, as it was my mistake of not telling anyone. Look for key symptoms such as questioning who you are and your role in society, not enjoying daily activities, trying to find your “true self”.