I absolutely hate my life. I’ve had a traumatic pst I don’t want to get into but understand my family life is shit, i can’t be happy without being with my gf or being high, and I am diagnosed with depression anxiety and add. All I want is the ability to be naturally happy or at least not permanently sad unless i force myself to feel some sort of positive feeling by getting high or being with my gf to release dopamine and serotonin that I desperately need. The only thing that is keeping me from doing it is my gf. I love her and I never want to leave her but every day I have suicidal thoughts and emotions and I just want to end it. I feel like everything is pointless and no matter what I do it won’t get better. Prescriptions, therapy, hobbies don’t work. I don’t eat or sleep much anymore and always feel anxious and sad. I don’t think there’s much left on this world to enjoy or at least that I’m capable of enjoying and if I keep going I’ll probably end up like my dad or his dad: a lonely alcoholic. I can’t kill myself because I’m afraid it will cause my gf to break mentally and possibly kill herself too. Idk what to do I can’t let go of her but I can’t stop thinking about being released from my living hell. Anyway thanks for listening to my rant. I feel like such a terrible person I got the sweetest most perfect amazing person stuck with me. Every year it just gets worse and worse. I’m so tired and exhausted idk if I can do this much longer. If you’re gonna comment please don’t say it gets better because that’s bullshit
‹ When you have been ghosted from a friend without knowing why, and after a lot of time has passed they reach out to you out of the blue like nothing happened. › Oh boy, this is super embarrassing to say out loud, but I really need help managing my weight loss when depression/ a lack of care is holding me back.