I really need someone I can talk to who night be able to help me. I feel so overwhelmingly sad that it feels like there is a lump in my chest. I don’t want to get up in the mornings I don’t want to do anything. The challenge of facing each new day seems harder and harder and I have no one I can talk to. I don’t want to die but I don’t want to exist anymore either. I just want everything to stop and I don’t know how to carry on. I’m ruining my relationship with my boyfriend who I care about more than anything and I don’t want to do this to him anymore. It’s not fair. Please help, I’m willing to try almost anything at this point just to feel okay.
I liked a girl who I was very good friends with. We decided to stay as friends and it was good. After a while, we had a fight and random gossip started floating in college and she had blocked me off everything. This was all my fault tho
A year later I text her. She tells she’s not comfortable talking to me. I kinda pressurise her and she blocked me off every way of contact.
I’m still not able to stop loving her or hate her in any way. She called me 1. a terrible human being, 2. said she has 0 respect for me, 3.told me I spread rumours (when I actually didn’t), 4 called me a liar, 5. asked me to stop bothering her 6. asked me to stop messaging her
I fucking love her and think about all I could have done differently. I knew she had a boyfriend when I told her and she doesn’t anymore and she never did in those 1.5yrs. I just wanna talk to her and have fun times like before, that’s all. I don’t care about a relationship and I never did, that’s why I told her even after knowing. I just don’t know what to do. I just think about all I could have done differently and cry (multiple times a day even). I don’t know what to do. It just seems to get worser everyday.
Today was just a good day. Lately I’ve been going through most days in a sucky mood. Just really bummed with negative thoughts swirling throughout my head. I felt like I was going insane. It was a mental mess. Today though, I feel good. School was good. My day was pretty relaxed other than math, but I understood what was going on so I actually didn’t hate it. If I know what is happening it’s somewhat enjoyable even. I had good interactions with both friends and teachers, and only said something I feel only slightly embarrassed about one time. Normally there are multiple things. Plus it’s Friday. Next week will get busy for Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, and I know it will suck a little bit, but the point is I’m doing okay for right now, and I have two days of relaxing, and I just want to focus on that. Another point I want to make is, if you are struggling but you have a good day, that doesn’t invalidate your struggle. I’ve had days where I’ve thought about ending things, and I’ve had days where I’m able to smile and laugh. Does that mean that I was faking those other days or that I’m 100% okay deep down? Of course not. Your feelings are valid. One good day doesn’t cause the bad days to be unjustifiable.
Hi all. First time poster here. Just wondering if anyone else is dealing with a similar situation. I’m 25 and in high school I excelled, straight A’s, high ACT score, have a full ride scholarship from a private donor for my bachelors degree. I graduated a year early from high school but after my first year of college my mental health went downhill hard and I left school. Now in fall of 2018 when I was 23 I went back, but none of my credits transferred so I’m a freshman again. My classes haven’t been difficult and in day to day life my anxiety and depressive episodes aren’t super debilitating but when it comes to school I shut down and can’t handle it and I don’t know why. I have an appointment with a therapist in the first of the year but I’ve already committed to taking spring semester off (halfway through my sophomore year). I know “college isn’t for everyone” and I have a decent job that doesn’t require a degree, but is there really a limit for how difficult school should be before I consider not finishing it?
Thanks for reading. Hope you’re all well.
I’ve been so obsessively worried that I’m about to be diagnosed with schizophrenia that I feel like I missed a piece of the puzzle.
Assuming therapists/doctors are reasonably sure that a person is in the prodromal phase, how do they go about treating it? Seems kind of silly to basically say “okay, you’re in the early stage of schizophrenia. Come back when the government is after you.” However, after reading up on it on my own (admittedly not wise), I’ve only seen treatment mentioned after a break has already happened.
This is also admittedly half-anxious me and half-genuinely-curious me asking this.
The fourth paragraph consists of a TLDR.
I want to make a chart or something with as much information as possible about any problem I have at the time:
What is the problem // Why is it a problem (including causes and effects) // since when is it a problem resp. since when am i aware of it (including a timeline of the ‘problem intensity’ and, where possible, linking changes in that graph to certain events) // previous and contemporary coping mechanisms and their effects // solution approaches (divided in control of causes and control of effects, and divided in ‘probable (solution), possible ” and unprobable ” ‘ // timeline for solution approaches
Now this is a whole lot. And as I’m typing this, the very first problem arises: my mind has (which is common for what I hear) the tendency to switch into denial as soon as I am in a ‘contemporary normal state’ (i.e.: I only really recognize how much and importantly I need change when I feel reeeally shit, not in ‘only normal level of sadness’ moments). I have such a phase right now, but my motivation is fading already. I feel like I’ll never be patient enough to completely write down even a few of my problems before my denial gains the upper hand and I think ‘fuck it’.
TLDR / summary | So, essentially, the question is how you can summon the willpower to deal with / really think about your problems, even (or: exactly) in moments where your mind tells you ‘quit it, it’s downing your mood’ even though in reality, assessing and thinking deep about your situation is the real way to remedy your mood and emotions longer-term? | END of TLDR / summary
Excourse | Thank you so much for any help. I appreciate it a great deal. I will probably talk to a psychologist in the nearer future (provided I suppress what I just talked about long enough to take the steps up to an appointement). But for the moment, dealing with shit should be better than doing nothing. And I would need something, anything, to motivate me to deal with my negative emotions, to remind me constantly ‘it IS worth thinking deep about it even if it hurts and repels’. I’m beginning to drift away from the subject, but it really is notable how if you think about ongoing problems at many short intervals, you always come to the same conclusion that ‘everything is shit, I can’t change a thing, so better not think about it at all and suppress the thoughts’ whereas if you think about a problem really deep, you’ll – at least that’s my hope and the foundation of this very post – get to conclusions that could actually help you.
I am actually amazed I wrote down all of that and will click on ‘post’ in a second. Even if the next thing I’ll do is smoke a joint, hear nostalgic music and probably not do nor think a thing related to my problems (which won’t help still feeling sad overall). You see, I think I have the power to be helped, both by myself and by letting an expert help me. I probably just need someone to tell me I’m even remotely on a right, or contemporary acceptable, path.
I’m always thinking that I’m never enough for anyone, always worried about what other people think of me… I try to make people understand but Every time I try it feels like I’m attention seeking, I think about death every single day it’s like if I saw death right now, i would welcome it. All I ever wanted is to be wanted by someone and understood by someone, I feel like I put so much burden on others, I’ve planned my death… numerous times one of them being that I would break off every friendship I ever had, buy hard drugs, do them and kill myself by falling so i wouldn’t feel anything cause I would be drugged. Every day I wake up, look in the mirror and say to myself… “who are you, exactly your nothing and that’s the way it is, maybe death will help you make people happier”. I always look to make other people happy, if i dont then I feel selfish about it… I feel like my friends see a different person than who I actually am, like I talk about deep shit, then I start thinking that they think im attention seeking when all I want is to feel understood. I’ve been rejected countless times and ik I’m young but at least I want something real, because I’ve never received that something real in my life, I want someone to care and understand me and love me for the person I am… most of the times my dad verbally abuses me saying shit like “im gonna hit you” “eat more your skinny” “Oh, you want to kill yourself? Why don’t I give you a revolver to see if you would do it” each of them quotes made me cry… because I don’t think he loves me, my mum gets worried about everything so I’ve lied to her constantly to make sure she doesnt get worried about my mental issues. I’m currently going to a therapist but I don’t think it’s helping me (been going for 2-3 months). I don’t trust people Any more because each and every one of them have broken my trust in them, so I’m scared to trust, I feel like I’m a nobody. And I wish I was better, i do have hope for the future but I never think how, I think when. I have a feeling that in the future, I’m gonna kill myself. After all I’m my own worst person and im full of self hatred, maybe my death will make people happier idk… sorry if this is too deep, I don’t know where to show my thoughts and I found this subreddit so this is where I’m putting it.
Im trying to find a new job because I’m being paid crap, but I generally enjoy the job. I need to get a new one though due to other reasons but it’s hard to find a good paying job that won’t completely destroy my mental health. It’s so hard for me to work in retail and food service because of the stress but that’s about all that will hire me. I work hard on the days I’m not feeling like shit but once my issues kick in I just lose all ability to function properly. I wish I could just be paid just enough to live for existing but we all know that’s not a thing.
i have had a lingering need to do something creative or productive or SOMETHING other than fucking working and being depressed for MONTHS. i cant fucking figure out what to do for myself. I want to do something I want to go somewhere and have fun and be out and happy and productive, and now I have the chance with a mino vacation from work, but I’m fucking broke and have no gas in my car. I can’t go anywhere or buy anything that would help me be productive or happy. I cant do shit but sit here and fucking waste my day.
My boyfriend is becoming so successful. He was in the shittiest shit hole a year from today. Now, he’s moving up! He’s got 2 jobs, 2 cars, he’s got a little side thing going, and now he texted me this morning saying he’s found another thing to get into. These things just come for him. Why don’t they just come for me? Why can’t I just find something I’m interested in and run with it. Why can’t I get my fucking stupid ass out of bed and DO something with my life. I’m so fucking proud at where he’s going and how far he’s come, but I can’t lie it makes me feel shitty as fuck when he’s just shooting up with all these projects and I’m in the same fucking boat I was 3 months ago.
I used to have money saved up. I used to be better than this. Now I just want to lay here and cry because I’m so fucking tired of doing NOTHING for myself and being broke and depressed all the fucking time. Why can’t I just be somebody else.